Mother Doesn't Want to Hug After Working Out

Dear Soothsayer,
My husband saw your site and wanted me to email you. He and I have a 7-year old daughter, “Isabella.” We are a close family. I go to the gym after work and don’t shower until I arrive home (I hate public showers). Whenever I walk in the door Isabella runs up and wants a hug, I always catch her before and tell her to wait until after I shower. After I work up a sweat gardening or doing lawn work, it’s the same scenario. I don’t want to hug Isabella or my husband until I am clean, it’s just gross. But I always hug her after I’ve showered.

My husband says I am hurting Isabella’s feelings by rejecting her, but I am simply trying to keep my sweat off her. What do you think?

Needs a Shower First (Miami, Florida).

Dear Soothsayer,
My wife just wrote you an email, but before you responded I wanted to add a little. When “Jackie” comes home from work Isabella is so excited. She giggles and smiles widely and sprints with her arms open wide to greet her mom. When Jackie takes Isabella’s wrists and turns her around back to her toys she doesn’t see the look that has come across her face. Her grin has completely disappeared and her eyes are dull and sad, the hug she gives/gets after the shower is not the emotional greeting she wanted and it hurts me to see her rejected as she is. Mother and daughter do have a loving relationship other than the greeting hugs.

Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Husband to Needs a Shower First

Dear Needs a Shower First,
In my opinion there is nothing better than the joy and greeting a child gives you when you have been missed. Yes, you are rejecting your child. She does not care if you are sweaty; she has just missed her mom. You are also missing out on one of the most important and simple pleasures of being a mother. Remember that one day, very soon, she will grow out of this phase and not greet you with so much youthful enthusiasm, enjoy it!

As I see it, you have three options:
1. Buy some flip flops, pack a bag, and shower at the gym. Then, hug your little girl tight and listen to her giggles.

2. Come home sweaty, hug your little girl tight, listen to her giggles, take a shower, and then if you’re grossed out move her bath routine to after your hug routine. Or,

3. Continue to reject your little girl’s greetings and watch her sadness continue to deepen.

For the three of you, I certainly hope you pick option #1 or #2, you’ll all be much happier.
~A Soothsayer